Drinking To Dream

by Heather Littlefield

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credits

released December 6, 2016

All songs written and produced by Heather Littlefield
Additional production by Eric Frey and Jordan Cunningham
Recorded and mixed by Jordan Cunningham at Sage Arts (Arlington WA) and
Robert Trapp and Preston Schmidt at Studio 31 West (Nashville TN)
Mastered by Ed Brooks at Resonant Mastering (Seattle WA)
Photography by Heather Littlefield & Melanie Curran
Illustration by Charissa Drengsen

Heather Littlefield-vocals
acoustic guitar (#1, #10, #12, #13)
Thomas Bryan Eaton-pedal steel guitar, telecaster & acoustic guitar (#2-9, #11)
Eric Frey- upright & electric bass (#2-9, #11)
Aaron Shafer-Haiss- drums & percussion (#2-9, #11)
Jordan Cunningham- mandolin, acoustic guitar & piano (#1. #9, #10)
Matt Combs- fiddle (#4, #5)
Craig Judelman- fiddle (#3)
Shenandoah Davis- piano (#11)
Thom Collins- Hammond organ (#6)
Michael Connolly- accordion (#2)

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Heather Littlefield Seattle, Washington

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Track Name: Hot Sauce Hangover
When we first fell in love
you took me out for brunch everyday
and it was then that I acquired
a habit for the taste
of hot sauce at every meal
and with this my heart you did steal
and with every bite you’re still on my mind

Chorus:
I’ve got a hot sauce hangover over you
and all my meals burn my mouth now it’s true I tried to eat my eggs plain
but they just aint the same
I've got a hot sauce hangover over you

I can learn to live without you in my arms every night
and I can even start again
to gettin’ used to feeling right but this burnin’ in my chest
it just wont go away
I guess that this habit’s here to stay
Chorus:
I’ve got a hot sauce hangover over you
and all my meals burn my mouth now it’s true I tried to eat my eggs plain
but they just aint the same
I've got a hot sauce hangover over you

Chorus:
I’ve got a hot sauce hangover over you
and all my meals burn my mouth now it’s true I tried to eat my eggs plain
but they just aint the same
I've got a hot sauce hangover over you
Track Name: Loneliness Is Easy
There was a time when I knew what love was
when my heart I wore on my sleeve
a few heartbreaks later
well my head got smarter
said I’m through with being naïve

Well I had a romance with a man from the prairies
he shone like a field sewn with gold
but his brightness was blinding
to girl made of coal dust
and the embers we tended went cold

Chorus:
Cause loneliness is easy
when it’s me, myself and I
but being together with someone
who loves you all of the time
well it’s too hot to handle
Id rather sit and cry
I grew so damn used to the taste of tears
how can I live with joy?

Maybe someday my heart I will unpack
from the box that sits on the shelf
but for right now it’s fine collecting dust
till I’ve learned how to love myself

Chorus:
Cause loneliness is easy
when it’s me, myself and I
but being together with someone
who loves you all of the time
well it’s just too hot to handle
Id rather sit and cry
I grew so damn used to the taste of tears
how can I deal with joy?
Track Name: Drugstore Cowgirl
The coldest winter of my youth
I was living on the sound
The needle it was in my arm
While snow fell on the ground
Christmas time was lonely
I was in a awful state
And the christmas tree we stole from down the street
We could barely decorate

Chorus:
Take me home
Im so lonesome I could cry
The sound of angels I can't hear
And I feel that I will die
This town it aint no place for me
This road's been awful rough
And the strength I thought I had back then
Well it aint strong enough

The man I love is leaving me
There's nothing I can do
It's new years now
The snow all around
Has gone and left me blue
I wonder if I should lie down
Until I fall asleep
The bottom that I'm hitting
Seems bottomless and deep

Chorus:
Take me home
Im so lonesome I could cry
The sound of angels I can't hear
And I feel that I will die
This town it aint no place for me
This road's been awful rough
And the strength I thought I had back then
Well it aint strong enough

A few more weeks go by and the sun pokes out
Im not dry but the money's all gone
I guess there's nothing left to do
But sit and write this song
My drug store cowgirl days are through
If there's a heaven I hope it's near
There's nothing worse than shootin dope while tryin' to rope a stear

Chorus:
Take me home
Im so lonesome I could cry
The sound of angels I can't hear
And I feel that I will die
This town it aint no place for me
This road's been awful rough
And the strength I thought I had back then
Well it aint strong enough

And the strength I thought I had back then
Well it aint strong enough
Track Name: Foolin' Around On You
You think that Ive been foolin' around on you
Well darlin maybe it's true
The men I go out with are so different than you
When your faithless heart went and fooled around on me

Chorus:
So if you are thinking
That what I do is unkind
Take a closer look
At the girls you leave behind
Im doing them a favor by owning my own life
And doing what I want with my own time

You think that I've been living in the dark for so long
Well darlin maybe that was true
But now I have seen you for what you have become
And if cheatin's what you want we might as well have fun

Chorus:
So if you are thinking that what I do is unkind
Take a closer look at the girls you leave behind
Im doing them a favor by owning my own life
And doing what I want with my own time
Track Name: Knowing You Never Cared
The bar is now closing
The party is through
Dead soldiers lie empty
And there's no sign of you
The sun is a risin'
The day is past due
Oh what's a lone cowgirl, like this one, to do?

Chorus:
I'll go home by myself
with the memory of you
drink the last of the liquor
cause you said we were through
and the pain that it cost me
aint nothin compared
to the pain that I feel
knowing you never cared

As I stumble on back,
To the home that we shared
I sing me a song
Well he thinks I still care
When I wake, I'll be haggered
In a serious way
But a good dose of whiskey,
And the pain goes away

Chorus:
Then I'll find me a man
Who's steady and true
And as we are waltzing,
I'll be thinking of you
and the pain that it cost me
aint nothin compared
to the pain that I feel
knowing you never cared

It's a ways down the road
It's been a few years
But the memory of you
Still brings me to tears
He can't stand it no longer
He's leavin' today
Cause my heart ache for you just won't go away

Chorus
I'll be home by myself
With the memory of you
Drink the last of the liquor
Cause you said we were through
And the pain that it costs me
Aint nothin compared
To pain that I feel
knowin you never cared
Track Name: If I Was A Cigarette
If I was a cigarette he’d roll me and smoke me
If I was a bottle of beer he’d drink me up
But as I am I’m just a girl and that aint good enough
At least the way he’s treated has gone and made me tough

If I was a shot of bourbon he wouldn’t walk past me
If I was a handle of gin well he wouldn’t ignore
All the ways I try to love him, though it makes me sore
Cause right now he’s walking over my heart like a board in the floor

Chorus:
If I was a fifth of whiskey, he’d spend the whole night with me
But he won’t even give me the time of day
If I could only drink enough to become what he loves best
I’d let my whole self melt away and he could have the rest

Well there aint enough left in these bottles here at home
so he courts the foaming beer glass at the bar down the road
If my name were whiskey, if my name were wine
Then he wouldn’t leave me and he’d have me all the time

If I was a cigarette he’d roll me and smoke me
If I was a bottle of beer he’d drink me up
But as I am I’m just a girl and that aint good enough
At least the way he’s treated has gone and made me tough

Chorus:
If I was a fifth of whiskey, he’d spend the whole night with me
But he won’t even give me the time of day
If I could only drink enough to become what he loves best
I’d let my whole self melt away and he could have the rest
tag
Track Name: Two-Timing Girl
My ma always told me I’d be a heartbreaker
I could not believe it was true
So girls wont you listen to the words of your mothers
Or you’ll be alone and feeling so blue

A life filled with lies, deceit and regret
Is all that is waiting for you
If you let your heart ramble from stranger to stranger
And never tell no one that you will be true

Someday you may meet the man of your dreams
And true to him you’ll try to stay
But shackles and walls are foreign to you
And far from the warmth of his arms you will stray

Chorus:

I’m a two timing girl all alone in this world
It’s many I’ve known in my day
The only life I’ve lived is one made of sin
Tho I wish that I hadn’t been made in this way

Oh and far down the road when you have grown old
the hair on your head has turned grey
You were never a wife, and that pain in the night
They’ll be no one to kiss all of your grief away

Chorus:

I’m a two timing girl all alone in this world
It’s many I’ve known in my day
The only life I’ve lived is one made of sin
Tho I wish that I hadn’t been made in this way
Track Name: Loving Like That (Has Only Made Me Blue)
When we first met I thought that you had plans to stick around
But you stopped calling and I was left a crying on the ground
and all my choices are my own there’s no one else to blame
but loving more than one shouldn’t be a shame

When you were gone well I found ways to satisfy my heart
And now I’ve found I should have done this from the very start
Cause life’s too short to play it safe and keep myself confined
To loving only one man at a time

Chorus:
It don’t make me an evil woman falling for too many men
It just makes it that much harder in the end
and they tell me that there’s just one love that is meant for you
but loving like that has only made me blue

Well you might find yourself inclined to put me to the test
or make me wear a bright red letter there upon my chest
and I don’t know if I’ll be able to ever settle down
I just hate when my heart’s upon the ground

And I aint no woman of the night though I may stay out late
for that’s the time the moon shines bright and guides me on my way
It aint that I don’t love you baby, I just love too easily
And I turn to stone when they look at me

Chorus:
It don’t make me an evil woman falling for too many men
It just makes it that much harder in the end
and they tell me that there’s just one love that is meant for you
but loving like that has only made me blue
Track Name: Wish I Could Hear It Said Out Loud
Granddad’s truck is rotting in the yard, weeds all around
the tires have sunken deep into the mud
if it weren’t so broken down I’d take it into to town
but it’s rusted out the same color as blood

His old flag’s a hanging on my wall there in the sun
I count the stars there’s only forty-eight
the anchor that I had tattooed in his name now is gone
As all my memories of him start to fade

chorus:
Though I’ve been told many times that he was proud
I wish that I could hear it, said out loud
Tonight Im missing you just like I miss the sun
That goes away whenever evening comes

I got a nice place in the woods with a few acres of land
the same place where my mother used to come
i framed the photo of us, when you first held my hand
after driving up the 5 from dusk till dawn

And I tell my friends that we would sail when I was just a girl
you taught me to tie a knot that wouldn’t budge
sometimes when the wind picks up and it gets into my curls
I think of all the ways you showed me love
Track Name: Bottom Shelf Kind Of Girl
Well I went to the drugstore to find
something to help me go blind
with only two fivers
and a half sober driver
we bought a whole jug a moonshine

Cause Im a bottom shelf kind of girl
for it sends me to the bottom of the world
well whiskey and wine they treat me just fine
as long as they're $5.99

the rite aid aids me when its right
safeway's a safe way when its night
and if you want a deal there's always a steal
choose the bottom and you're high as a kite

Cause Im a bottom shelf kind of girl
for it sends me to the bottom of the world
well whiskey and wine they treat me just fine
as long as they're $5.99
Track Name: Waiting For The One To Pass Me By
I thought that writing songs
was what I was supposed to do
And if I sang em long enough
the words just might get through
to the man that Ive been searching for
so lonely I have been
I’ve almost died and nearly tried
to forget how to sing

Despite the inspiration that will strike me
like a lightning bolt from heaven up on high
I get so goddamn weary
when these words wont let me be
Id rather drink myself to sleep and cry

Chorus:
If you could only know how much it hurts
if you could only know how hard I try
I wouldn't be here standing on the corner
waiting for the one to pass me by

I read the letters that you sent with teary eyes
the words you wrote so untrue to my mind
and tho I love you I cannot help but to despise
all the ways in which you’ve treated me unkind

Chorus:
If you could only know how much it hurts
if you could only know how hard I try
I wouldn't be here standing on the corner
waiting for the one to pass me by

I heard the other day you sold your guitar
the one you always told me would be mine
I’ll never play it again till I’m up there in the stars
and they lay me down in that old box of pine

Chorus:
If you could only know how much it hurts
if you could only know how hard I try
I wouldn't be here standing on the corner
waiting for the one to pass me by
Track Name: I Like The Mess
Girls are supposed to be pretty
like they're only living on air
find a man, settle down, have his babies
nevermind what you think is fair

girls learn to hate one another
turn your back and his hearts been broke
well its a different world for my brother
toughen up, learn to handle a gun

I know you think that I look depressed
but i got drinking problems and i glorify death
you say i clean up nice but i like the mess
and i'll go to my grave with too many regrets

girls are supposed to be flawless
with never a curl out of line
if she's smart and she's strong then she's crazy
and she'll start to believe them in time

girls should act nice and be wholesome
bake pies and smile all the time
even if she's sad or she's lonesome
damn your standards im doing just fine

I know you think that I look depressed
but i got drinking problems and i glorify death
you say i clean up nice but i like the mess
and i'll go to my grave with too many regrets
Track Name: Drinking To Dream
Mamma said she saw you just the other day
living on the other side of town
smiling when you can, while people pass you by
and making the best of sleeping on the ground

These days your head’s so heavy you can’t hold it up
the sun in shining bright and you can’t sleep
you’ll find a darkened alley where you can shut your eyes
and think of all the things you couldn’t keep

You’re drinking to dream
cause you’re threadbare at the seams
did you choose this life honey or did it choose you?
well you wish you could forget when you’re bumming cigarettes
that the love you could have had is gone for good

Waiting on a handout and hoping for some change
that won’t ever come cause you’re too drunk to see
she tried to give you love but you refused
and instead devoted yourself to the streets

You’re drinking to dream
cause you’re threadbare at the seams
did you choose this life honey or did it choose you?
well you wish you could forget when you’re bumming cigarettes
that the love you could have had is gone for good